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​communication style?
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How To Make Friends With Rob Riker

7/24/2018

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How To Make Friends With Rob Riker - become more compelling radio
On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Rob Riker (@robertgriker) from The Social Winner. 

Over the last few months, I've seen a lot of questions about making friends...  
  
  • "How do I make friends?"
  • "How can I build my friendship circle?"
  • "What's the best way to make plans with a new friend?"
​
This podcast will answer all these questions and more. If you've ever wanted a solid strategy around making new friends and connections, this podcast episode is for you. After listening, you'll be able to make new friends on command.

Rob has been featured in Business Insider, Lifehack, The Friend Formula, and Tiny Buddha.

I like Rob's insights on friendship and creating a fulfilling, lasting social circle:

Friend hits me up out of the blue. We hang out and I’m so glad we did.

Lesson here: be like my friend. Be proactive and stop waiting for others to do the work.

Even if nothing comes from it, you’re nourishing the relationship. Win/win.

— Rob Riker (@robertgriker) May 25, 2018

Free gift for BMC readers:

Get Rob's free 8 lesson course on how to make new friends this month here.

Highlights:

19:56 - How to bridge the gap between acquaintances and meeting up a second time
26:15 - The crucial time to swap contact info
34:29 - Should you initiate plans with friends or wait for them to initiate plans?​​

Listening  Options:

Listen to Stitcher

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Poise, Presence and Cocktails with Kyle Ingham

6/17/2018

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Kyle Ingham
​On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Kyle Ingham (@DistilledMan), founder of The Distilled Man.

Kyle is awesome, he has the poise and style Don Draper and the wit and charm of Ryan Reynolds. (A winning combo for sure.)

In this wide ranging conversation we tackle how to make great first impressions, how to be likable, how to build rapport, negative self talk, giving effective feedback at work, cocktails, and much more.

Kyle has been featured in the San Francisco Examiner, Forbes, The Good Men Project, among others.

Free Resource For BMC Listeners:

Kyle has an excellent free resource for BMC Radio listeners:

The 48 Hour Gentleman: Your One Weekend Plan For More Confidence, Poise, and Manly Know-How.

This excellent guide covers how to cook a steak, get a shirt tailored, male a Manhattan, and much more.

Highlights:

  • 15:29 - How to make a great first impression. Kyle's video on first impressions:
  • 20:31 - How to get out of your head and be more present in social situations.
  • 38:01 - How to give feedback at work that makes both people feel good. (No sh*t sandwiches here)

Listening Options:

Listen to Stitcher

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How To Unlock Authentic Confidence With Dave Bowden

2/4/2018

 
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On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Dave Bowden (@IrreverentGent) founder of Irreverent Gent.

In this episode  we tackle a crucial topic: Confidence.
  • What is it?
  • How do you get it?
  • How does it impact different areas of your life?
Confidence is important because it's one of those skills that isn't taught in school. Confidence is learned on the STREET.
(Or maybe just by consistently pushing past your comfort zone.)

This episode is geared towards the fellas. (Although I believe there are valuable insights for everyone) Dave has spent the last decade improving himself in the areas of people skills, fitness, and style.

He's gone from shy and reserved to authentically confident and now he helps men in their 20s and 30s do the same.

Highlights:
  • ​04:00 - One quick tactic Dave used to stop overthinking and win over a new friend at a dinner party.
  • 12:40 - How to avoid information overload and take action on improving your people skills
  • 37:00 - The mindset Dave uses to overcome the hesitation of starting conversations.
  • 47:45 - How to think about your style and avoiding the imposter syndrome that can come from changing what you wear.

Dave is the Amazon #1 best-selling author of Ready to Roar: How Shy, Quiet, Self-Doubting Guys Become Strong, Charming, Self-Confident Men and the founder of IrreverentGent.com, a blog dedicated to helping guys build confidence.

His work has been featured in The Good Men Project, Well Built Style and Active Man magazine, among others.

Listening Options:
Listen to Stitcher

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Toxic Jobs, Networking, and Burritos

8/6/2017

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(If you've ever wondered how to network, this post is going to make your day.)

But first, a quick story:

I was having dinner with a friend the other night at a Mexican place we've both loved for years.


As the hot plates of burritos and cold beers were delivered we started talking career strategy, like we typically do.

Then, a familiar topic cropped up.


He's not happy at his job.
Toxic Jobs, Networking, and Burritos

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How To Silence Your Inner Jerk and Rebound From Awkward Moments

5/1/2017

 
​Think about the last time you were hard on yourself for something awkward you said or did socially.

​Did your inner jerk come out?

"I can't believe I said THAT. I'm so f**king dumb."

"Why would I just stand there like a piece of driftwood and not say anything?! I hate myself."

Why are we jerks to ourselves sometimes?
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Last night I was sitting on my couch watching Bob Ross on Youtube...like you do, and I stumbled across this video by Bob Ross' son Steve.

​In this video
, Ross gets super pumped about painting some mountains, and he messes up. (Side note: The mountains are still more beautiful that any mountains I've seen in real life.)

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How To Master Small Talk & Overcome Shyness With Dan Chang

10/4/2016

 
Dan Chang
On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio I'd like to introduce you to my friend Dan Chang (@friendformula) founder of The Friend Formula.

A former self-descibed shy guy, nine years ago Dan decided to start learning about social skills so that he could perform at a high level in his career. 

​He's gone from someone who was too shy to speak up in meetings, to giving presentations to executives. (Dan's small talk tips are great)
Dan has been featured on INC, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, Lifehacker, Introvert Spring, and many others. 

In this conversation, we discuss how to become better at small talk than 99% of people. I love Dan's advice because it's so easy to implement. 

If you've ever fiddled with your phone instead of striking up a conversation with someone you've wanted to meet, this podcast is for you.

In this episode you'll learn:
  • 13:55 How to make yourself comfortable before you even open your mouth.
  • 15:50 A simple tip that Dan's boss gave him: You don't have to have a great idea to say something.
  • 30:50 Dan's 3 step framework for mastering small talk

You'll definitely want to grab Dan's free three video mini course on small talk (Including strategies on reducing nervousness) here.
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Charisma Expert Felicia Spahr: Group Conversations, Creating Rapport, and Getting Digits

7/21/2015

 
On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I am joined by my friend Felicia Spahr.

Felicia has been featured in INC, Fast Company, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Entrepreneur on Fire, Mind, Body, Green, and many others.

I love this conversation for so many reasons. After listening to this episode you will be able to:

• Craft an amazing introduction (10:00)
​
• Focus on the right things during group conversations (15:40)

• Create rapport during one-on-one conversations (38:02)

• Know how and when to exchange contact information (46:20)
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"A good principle to remember is: Don't give people a reason to walk away." - Fel
It's basically a tactical guide to thrive at your next dinner party, conference, or networking event.


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How To Make A Fantastic First Impression (Middle Finger Optional)

3/2/2015

 
Two things today:

1. Story.
2. Video.

Have you ever made a cringe-worthy first impression? 

I've made a few, but I think my wife wins the golden chalice of cringe with this one:

A few years ago she was at her boss' house for a party. ​
​
There was a mix of friends, family and co-workers.
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Middle Finger Optional

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How To Conquer Your Inner Fears and Start a Conversation With Anyone

1/28/2015

 
One of the most common social skills questions I get is: 

"How do I start a conversation?!"

It's not rocket science, but it's about as terrifying as being strapped to a rocket.

To answer this question, I brought in an expert: the magnetic Felicia of Instantly Irresistible.

She's the real deal, and she created a video on how to conquer your inner fears and start a conversation with anyone.
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Her gazes have been known to bring puppies back to life.
Also, she has a free gift for Become More Compelling readers. BOOM.

Enter Felicia:


I remember after reading Neil Strauss’s famous book, The Game, I was fascinated by this idea of ‘approach anxiety’. 

It’s typically what a lot of men feel as they are about to approach women -- a tightness in their chest, sweating, and of course, the prominent fear of being rejected.

But what I realized is that ‘approach anxiety’ is not limited to just men. Women feel it, too! And even I experience it myself--and this is what I help people with for a living. When I’m at an event and see a stranger I want to start talking to, my heart starts beating faster, I become self-conscious, and I start to think: “What am I going to SAY?”

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What "Being A Natural" Actually Means (Social Skills Question)

1/11/2015

 
I have this friend named Josh. He's what you'd call a social skills natural.

When he walks into a room, it's as if he emits a magnetic pulse, and people literally gravitate toward him.

It's uncanny. I'm 99.9% sure he's an X-Man.

In the span of three minutes he's already circulated the room, cracked a few jokes, shook a few hands. Everyone is ecstatic to see him.
Jeff
This happens every time I've ever hung out with him. 

You probably have people like Josh in your life. 

Perhaps, as you watch them work a room, you ask yourself: "How the f*ck do they do that?"

The answer might surprise you. (Hint: they weren't born with it.)

We're going to talk more about that in a moment, but first, watch this video where I talk about what it really means to be a natural:

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Social Skills Question: "In a Group, I Freeze..."

12/21/2014

 
Isn't it interesting how sometimes we can feel so comfortable in a group, but other times we feel like some sort of awkward science experiment that just wandered out of the lab for the first time? 

Two things for you today:

1. A video where I answer a social skills question about what to focus on while in a group. (Hint: It's not yourself)
Social Skills Question
[Insert Frozen joke here]
2. A story of how I didn't take my own advice.

Watch and learn...

This is a story of a time when I escaped from the lab...

My wife had signed up for a local kickball team,  and they were having a meet and greet at a local dive bar.
Opt-out with one click

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Confessions Of An Ex-Time Traveler

8/19/2014

 
I have a secret to tell you...

I'm an ex-time traveler. 

Wait...before you click the back button let me explain what time traveling is and why you should stop before we all explode.

And I'll also explain how time traveling is totally horrible for your social skills...
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Winning At Small Talk: 2 Common Social Mistakes (And How To Cure them)

7/8/2014

 
Guys. Real talk for a second...

Are you somewhat uncomfortable making small talk with people you barely know? How about people you would like to know better?

Small talk got you terrified? Watch this...
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Power Posing: A Cheat Code For Your Social Life (Updated)

7/8/2014

 
What if I told you that I can make you more assertive, confident and comfortable in two minutes? Pretty sweet, huh?

Well, I can't. But you can. (ooh, tell me more!)

There is this awesome technique called "power posing" and you should be doing it EVERY DAY.

It takes two minutes and could change your entire life. Here's the video:
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  • Start Here
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