How To Unlock Authentic Confidence With Dave Bowden

2/4/2018

On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Dave Bowden (@IrreverentGent) founder of Irreverent Gent.

In this episode we tackle a crucial topic: Confidence.

What is it?
How do you get it?
How does it impact different areas of your life?

Confidence is important because it's one of those skills that isn't taught in school. Confidence is learned on the STREET.

(Or maybe just by consistently pushing past your comfort zone.)

This episode is geared towards the fellas. (Although I believe there are valuable insights for everyone) Dave has spent the last decade improving himself in the areas of people skills, fitness, and style.

He's gone from shy and reserved to authentically confident and now he helps men in their 20s and 30s do the same.

Highlights:

04:00 - One quick tactic Dave used to stop overthinking and win over a new friend at a dinner party.
12:40 - How to avoid information overload and take action on improving your people skills
37:00 - The mindset Dave uses to overcome the hesitation of starting conversations.
47:45 - How to think about your style and avoiding the imposter syndrome that can come from changing what you wear.

Dave is the Amazon #1 best-selling author of Ready to Roar: How Shy, Quiet, Self-Doubting Guys Become Strong, Charming, Self-Confident Men and the founder of IrreverentGent.com, a blog dedicated to helping guys build confidence.

His work has been featured in The Good Men Project, Well Built Style and Active Man magazine, among others.

Listening Options:

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Show Notes:

04:00 - One quick tactic Dave used to win over a new friend at a dinner party.
07:50 - Dave's origin story.
12:40 - How to avoid information overload and take action on improving your people skills.
13:40 - Book: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Question: "Who are you at your highest ambition?"
15:41 - Commander's Intent. How to always know what to focus on and stop overthinking.
18:09 - Decide who you wan to be. Debbie Millman and the 10-year plan exercise.
20:01 - Your mind plays tricks on you. (The negativity bias)
37:00 - The mindset Dave uses to overcome the hesitation of starting conversations.
22:30 - Realistic negative visualization from the Stoics.
23:15 - Books: Thinking, Fast And Slow by Daniel Kaneman, Influence, and Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini.
23:44 - The benefits of pronoia.
24:40 - Book: The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.
27: 40 - Focus on small wins.
40:45 - Book: How To Win Friends And Influence People
42:18 - The myth of "You should just not care what other people think!"
43:20 - Let go of needing to be right. You'll never persuade anyone because you're right.
47:45 - How to think about your style and avoiding the imposter syndrome that can come from changing what you wear.
51:25 - Personal Style Profile. Cut through the noise and define your individual style.
59:00 - Journaling helps focus you on what's important.
1:00:00 - Dave's book Ready to Roar: How Shy, Quiet, Self-Doubting Guys Become Strong, Charming, Self-Confident Men

Question for you...

What is one takeaway you had from this episode?

What action will you take this week?

Let me know in the comments!

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