Over the last few months I’ve received dozens of emails from people who are struggling with how to have better group conversation​s.

This guide will help you when it comes to:

1. Joining group conversations
2. Contributing in group conversations

Years ago I remember worrying about:

• What kind of conversation starters do I need to join a group?
• What other people were thinking of me.
• Trying to come up with the perfect thing to say, not saying it, and replaying events...and overthinking every step of the way.
  

Tell me if these ring true for you:

“I just feel like I’ll be bothering them if I walk up and start talking…”

“What if they all know each other?!”

“I don’t want to have to be LOUD and interrupt people! it’s just not who I am...”

That’s why I created this guide for you, to help you smoothly join a group so that you can…

...meaningfully contribute to group conversations at work without feeling awkward and self conscious.

...Easily make new friends and contacts at a conference.

...feel comfortable and enjoy group conversations at a party.

And on a deeper level:

...have options of who you surround yourself with. Which as it turns out, has a huge influence on success

...feel like you are the kind of person who can thrive in social situations (which will make it more likely that you will thrive even more in group conversations, creating a virtuous cycle)

In this guide you’ll find some of the best strategies for joining and contributing in group conversations.

To create this guide, I pulled from my experience having 90,000 conversations over 11 years...but I knew that wouldn’t be enough.

I also did a LOT of research into what works and what doesn’t.

The result?

You don’t have to look in 100 different places and piece together quality, actionable information.

It’s all right here for you.
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Let’s swan-dive in…

Have you ever been at a conference, a cookout, or a networking event and you felt that twinge that says "You should talk to that person".

At this point, like a split in the road we have two choices:

A. Check your instagram for the 231st time today.

B. Start that conversation.

When we meet new people, we get to expand our circle of people. This could lead to a business partnership, a new best friend, or a new client. But you'll never know unless you open your mouth.

There’s a phrase my mentor likes to say:

“90% of the work is done before you enter the room.”

It’s easier to start a conversation after you’ve had a successful conversation.

But how do you start those conversations?

Enter Conversational Muscle Memory.

Conversational Muscle Memory is built on the idea that when you start small, low-stakes conversations throughout your day, it's easier to start more conversations because you’ve built momentum.

Once you’ve built that momentum, it’ll be easier to start a conversation with that one person you really want to talk to at happy hour.

I explain more in this video:

On this episode of BMC Radio, the podcast where I help you supercharge your charisma and people skills I have my friend Paul Sanders (@PaulSandersSCP) from Get The Friends You Want.

Paul Sanders is a friendship & social skills coach, and author of the "Get The Friends You Want" book. He helps people overcome social hesitation, master conversation and social skills, make friends and build a social circle. 

In an age where human connection seems to be tipping more screen than face, I think honing your friendship skills is only getting more important, especially if you're working remote, or starting a business and don't have the traditional 9-5 office culture to fall back on.

In this conversation, we talk about how to build a friendship circle, how to easily connect and build rapport with many different types of people, books on social dynamics, and much more.

7 Most Common Mistakes Peoples People Make When They Try To Improve Their Social Life (And How To Avoid Them)

• 11:45 - Paul’s advice on how to make friends and build a friendship circle.
• 25:00 - The compound effect of stacking different people skills.
• 28:09 - Acquire new knowledge and culture so that you’ll be able to connect with many different types of people.

On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Rob Riker (@robertgriker) from The Social Winner. 

Over the last few months, I've seen a lot of questions about making friends...  
  

• "How do I make friends?"
• "How can I build my friendship circle?"
• "What's the best way to make plans with a new friend?"

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This podcast will answer all these questions and more. If you've ever wanted a solid strategy around making new friends and connections, this podcast episode is for you. After listening, you'll be able to make new friends on command.

Rob has been featured in Business Insider, Lifehack, The Friend Formula, and Tiny Buddha.

I like Rob's insights on friendship and creating a fulfilling, lasting social circle:

Get Rob's free 8 lesson course on how to make new friends this month here.

19:56 - How to bridge the gap between acquaintances and meeting up a second time
26:15 - The crucial time to swap contact info
34:29 - Should you initiate plans with friends or wait for them to initiate plans?​​

​On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Kyle Ingham (@DistilledMan), founder of The Distilled Man.

Kyle is awesome, he has the poise and style Don Draper and the wit and charm of Ryan Reynolds. (A winning combo for sure.)

In this wide ranging conversation we tackle how to make great first impressions, how to be likable, how to build rapport, negative self talk, giving effective feedback at work, cocktails, and much more.

Kyle has been featured in the San Francisco Examiner, Forbes, The Good Men Project, among others.

Kyle has an excellent free resource for BMC Radio listeners:

The 48 Hour Gentleman: Your One Weekend Plan For More Confidence, Poise, and Manly Know-How.

This excellent guide covers how to cook a steak, get a shirt tailored, male a Manhattan, and much more.

• 15:29 - How to make a great first impression. Kyle's video on first impressions:

• 20:31 - How to get out of your head and be more present in social situations.
• 38:01 - How to give feedback at work that makes both people feel good. (No sh*t sandwiches here)