Do you ever get the feeling that you just aren’t connecting with people? 

Maybe you’ve noticed a certain coldness from new colleagues, or you’re struggling to build rapport while on a first date. 

Perhaps you’ve even seen someone cross their arms, tap their foot, or (gasp!) check their watch while you’re chatting. 

Let’s look at an incredible communication hack that you might have been missing: Mirroring.

Mirroring is a fantastic way to supercharge your communication, in many cases without saying a word.

If your goal is to improve your people skills, mirroring is a crucial skill that cannot be overstated.

Studies suggest that people who mirror others are seen as more likable and persuasive. 

And those people you mirror will often go out of their way to be more generous and helpful. (Don’t worry, we’ll cover the science on that in a bit.)

So mirroring is pretty freaking important!

And you may have noticed it out in the wild when...

• You notice that they take a drink after you do when out together after work
• You scratch your nose after they do when in a job interview that you really, really want
• You both lean your shoulder against a wall and seem to nod in unison while casually talking in the break room

When you get a glimpse of mirroring, it’s a good indicator that you’re in rapport with that other person.

In this article, we’ll dive deeper into what mirroring is, how you can mirror effectively, and what to avoid doing.

Effective communication is one of the most powerful skills you can have as you move through the world.

Communicating effectively helps you understand other people’s motivations, and gives you the power to share your own insights without anything getting lost in the shuffle. 

Effective communication can help you in your career, socially, and in your personal relationships.

For example, effective communication can help with:

• Navigating an emotionally charged conversation at work
• Breaking out of conflict patterns with your significant other
• Creating a plan for a new collaborative project

With the tool of effective communication in your toolbox, you’ll have fewer misunderstandings, be better able to communicate your wants and needs, and enjoy better relationships with others! 

So let’s dive in!

Do you have a friend or coworker who just seems to know how to build rapport with pretty much anyone in any social situation? 

It may seem like magic..they walk over, start talking, and it looks like they’ve known each other for years--even though they just met!

That’s the power learning how to build rapport.

​And the great thing is...building rapport is a learnable skill... and that’s what we’re talking about today.

Look, we’ve ALL been there… We meet a new friend, or hit up an old friend, and they lay this on you…

“What should we do?”

“Uhh…I don’t know, I’m good with whatever…”

I think it’s always better to have a plan rather than just doing the same old thing.

If you’re looking for things to do with friends, you are in the right place. I have 225+ things on this list that you can do with friends.

So if you’re…

• Looking for things to do with friends on the weekend. Check.
• Looking for things to do with friends at home. Check.
• Looking for things to do with friends when bored. Check.

…I’ve got you covered!

Doing memorable or even challenging things with friends is important because it can lead to peak experiences that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Keep this list handy and you’ll never run out of things to do.

If you’re looking for topics to bring up while you’re doing things with friends, be sure to check out my list of 300+ conversation topics and starters.

Ready? Let’s dive in!

Learning how to make friends as an adult is HARD! 

I feel like they should have warned us.

But when you think about it, it makes sense... 

​In school, you have classes, labs, study groups, organized functions, clubs...all sorts of ways to meet new people and connect. 

But once you’re working 8-5 (or 7-6 if you’re like most of us), it becomes a lot more difficult to find the time and energy to invest in other people.

Not to mention finding people your age and with similar interests in the first place!

And once you DO find those people, how do you turn them into friends?
​

• Who sends the first text?
• Is it awkward to ask them to hang out?
• What if it turns out you have nothing in common and you could have been at home with your plants and your dog??

We’ll cover all these questions and more! 

Many of my readers ask me about how to make conversation. 

A conversation that feels natural and smooth.

Good news: These are learnable skills.

Having great conversation skills that you can "turn on" at a moments notice matter when you're:

• Applying for a new job and you're making small talk with the interviewer.
• You log on to the Zoom meeting early and your company's CEO is the only other person in the meeting room?
• You're on a first date where you know you want to make a great first impression.

The better you are with these soft interactions, the better your career, business and social life's trajectory will be.

And the best part?

These skills compound over time.

​Like investing in a 401K, the more connections you make, the easier it is to call up good friends, find jobs fast, and get introduced to more people who can change your life.

Here are 5 tips that you can use starting today to make better, more memorable conversations. 

Every one of these skills are effective individually, but when you stack them together, they become extremely powerful.

​If you've ever wondered how to make a great first impression you're not alone. 

Here are a few messages from my readers who want to master first impressions. 

It’s okay if you’ve made some cringe worthy first impressions. 

Take this gem from my wife:

A few years ago she was at her boss' house for a party. ​

She was joking around with some of her coworkers, who were on the other side of the room. 

She playfully extends her middle finger.

At that PRECISE MOMENT her boss' father turns around and intercepts the middle finger.

​I imagine that space and time slowed down while my wife watched him go through different emotions. Confusion, disbelief, denial, shock, sadness, and finally disdain. 

After the fabric of reality had stabilized, he looked away while saying "How RUDE."

This story makes me laugh every time.

First impressions are crucial:

• When you walk into an interview for your dream job. 
• When you meet your significant other’s family. 
• When you meet a potential business partner for your company. 

Here’s the deal with first impressions: after people make up their mind about you, (Some studies say in as little as 1/10th of a second) they use confirmation bias to only look for evidence to back up their initial impression. 

I’m not here to sugar coat things. I’m here to supercharge your people skills.

So what can you do to reliably create great first impressions with almost everyone you meet?

​It all starts with your mindset because 80% of the work is done before you ever shake hands...

Over the last few months I’ve received dozens of emails from people who are struggling with how to have better group conversation​s.

This guide will help you when it comes to:

1. Joining group conversations
2. Contributing in group conversations

Years ago I remember worrying about:

• What kind of conversation starters do I need to join a group?
• What other people were thinking of me.
• Trying to come up with the perfect thing to say, not saying it, and replaying events...and overthinking every step of the way.
  

Tell me if these ring true for you:

“I just feel like I’ll be bothering them if I walk up and start talking…”

“What if they all know each other?!”

“I don’t want to have to be LOUD and interrupt people! it’s just not who I am...”

That’s why I created this guide for you, to help you smoothly join a group so that you can…

...meaningfully contribute to group conversations at work without feeling awkward and self conscious.

...Easily make new friends and contacts at a conference.

...feel comfortable and enjoy group conversations at a party.

And on a deeper level:

...have options of who you surround yourself with. Which as it turns out, has a huge influence on success

...feel like you are the kind of person who can thrive in social situations (which will make it more likely that you will thrive even more in group conversations, creating a virtuous cycle)

In this guide you’ll find some of the best strategies for joining and contributing in group conversations.

To create this guide, I pulled from my experience having 90,000 conversations over 11 years...but I knew that wouldn’t be enough.

I also did a LOT of research into what works and what doesn’t.

The result?

You don’t have to look in 100 different places and piece together quality, actionable information.

It’s all right here for you.
​
Let’s swan-dive in…

​On this episode of Become More Compelling Radio, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Kyle Ingham (@DistilledMan), founder of The Distilled Man.

Kyle is awesome, he has the poise and style Don Draper and the wit and charm of Ryan Reynolds. (A winning combo for sure.)

In this wide ranging conversation we tackle how to make great first impressions, how to be likable, how to build rapport, negative self talk, giving effective feedback at work, cocktails, and much more.

Kyle has been featured in the San Francisco Examiner, Forbes, The Good Men Project, among others.

Kyle has an excellent free resource for BMC Radio listeners:

The 48 Hour Gentleman: Your One Weekend Plan For More Confidence, Poise, and Manly Know-How.

This excellent guide covers how to cook a steak, get a shirt tailored, male a Manhattan, and much more.

• 15:29 - How to make a great first impression. Kyle's video on first impressions:

• 20:31 - How to get out of your head and be more present in social situations.
• 38:01 - How to give feedback at work that makes both people feel good. (No sh*t sandwiches here)

Myke is a really interesting guy, he was born in Asia, move to the Middle East, then landed in Canada at age 16 while not being able to speak English.

Myke had to start from scratch with people skills. The customs of places he'd lived his entire life were suddenly reversed in a western country.

If you've wanted to level up your social confidence, make better first impressions, or network authentically at a conference this episode will be exactly what you need.

​More about Myke:

Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant who used to work a boring engineering job and became a talk show host, a social dynamics specialist, and a lifestyle entrepreneur.

He now teaches shy guys to develop social confidence so they can succeed in their personal, romantic, and professional lives.

His work has been featured in the Calgary Herald, on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV, and in the Huffington Post.

Shy to Social: How To Approach And Talk To Anybody No Matter How Shy You Are

• 13:30 - How to overcome and reprogram negative self talk.
• 21:00 - How to overcome the “I don’t want to be fake” self improvement objection.
• 34:30 - How to leverage social media for conferences and events so that you can warm up the room before flying to the event.

It's basically a tactical guide to thrive at your next dinner party, conference, or networking event.