Questions are a great way to start a conversation at a barbecue, a Zoom networking event, or a party.
Questions can even help you move past small talk and into deeper topics. (Which studies suggest could make you happier!)
If you’ve ever struggled with thinking up questions to get to know someone better, this post is for you!
Pro-tip: Don’t ONLY ask questions. If you do, you’ll fall into the interrogation trap!
After your conversational partner responds, keep the conversation going by making an observation about what they said.
Look through the list below and copy/paste 5 of your favorite questions into the notes app on your phone.
Then, you’ll be all set to break the ice at your next social event!
Bonus Pro-tip: Check out this massive list of 300+ conversation starters and topics if you need help starting conversations!
What top performers do:
1. Get barely enough information.
2. Don't overthink it.
3. Act rapidly.
When you're learning how to communicate with confidence, it's crucial to take action quickly. The great thing about people skills is that you get plenty of chances to practice.
Let's talk about a time where I wasn't a top performer...
Have you ever been at a conference, a cookout, or a networking event and you felt that twinge that says "You should talk to that person".
At this point, like a split in the road we have two choices:
A. Check your instagram for the 231st time today.
B. Start that conversation.
When we meet new people, we get to expand our circle of people. This could lead to a business partnership, a new best friend, or a new client. But you'll never know unless you open your mouth.
There’s a phrase my mentor likes to say:
“90% of the work is done before you enter the room.”
It’s easier to start a conversation after you’ve had a successful conversation.
But how do you start those conversations?
Enter Conversational Muscle Memory.
Conversational Muscle Memory is built on the idea that when you start small, low-stakes conversations throughout your day, it's easier to start more conversations because you’ve built momentum.
Once you’ve built that momentum, it’ll be easier to start a conversation with that one person you really want to talk to at happy hour.
I explain more in this video:
Myke is a really interesting guy, he was born in Asia, move to the Middle East, then landed in Canada at age 16 while not being able to speak English.
Myke had to start from scratch with people skills. The customs of places he'd lived his entire life were suddenly reversed in a western country.
If you've wanted to level up your social confidence, make better first impressions, or network authentically at a conference this episode will be exactly what you need.
More about Myke:
Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant who used to work a boring engineering job and became a talk show host, a social dynamics specialist, and a lifestyle entrepreneur.
He now teaches shy guys to develop social confidence so they can succeed in their personal, romantic, and professional lives.
His work has been featured in the Calgary Herald, on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV, and in the Huffington Post.
Myke's Free Gift For BMC Listeners:
Before starting WWL, Talia was a recruiter for contributing writers at Elite Daily and a staff writer herself on the entertainment, news and health teams.
The skill set of being able to reach out to people in an effective way is a force multiplier for your life.
Learn it and use it. This skill is especially helpful if you want to:
In this episode you'll learn:
12:26 - How most people approach media outreach and what you can do instead.
24:10 - How to reach out to individual influencers.
41:22 - The structure of a good outreach email. (Subject line, body, PS)
51:10 - An incredibly easy way to get busy people on the phone.
Talia also has a free resource for BMC listeners: 3 Teardowns of standard media pitches.
I'll help you supercharge your people skills so that you can have a more fulfilling career,
business & social life.
Over the last 15 years, I’ve learned... (Read More)
• 5 Ways a Communication Coach Can Help You Become a Better Communicator
• The Ultimate Guide To Joining & Enjoying Group Conversations
• How to Never Run Out of Things to Say