Ever notice how life seems effortless for people who have a little extra confidence?
So what's the deal? Are these people mutants who have these unattainable traits that you can't have?
Whether you’re leading a meeting, pitching a new client, or starting conversations at happy hour, confident communication is one of the most important skills you can have.
Each of the following three skill is powerful but I recommend stacking all three skills for maximum impact.
1. Eliminate Qualifying Words
Confident communication killers
You're in a meeting, your boss asks you a straightforward question about next steps on a project.
"Well, I just think that we maybe should consider...”
You trail off.
Somewhere I am softly weeping while lighting a candle in memory of your fallen confidence and credibility.
Did you water down your message until it's unrecognizable?
(This is a "hidden truth" that almost NO ONE acknowledges, but everyone feels.)
When we use timid language we get timid results...the ripple effects are wide-ranging:
In the short term, we may not persuade people at the meeting, but spread out over 20-30 years, it can have a gigantic impact on our life's trajectory.
So what can we do to fix it? I want you to repeat after me:
“It is okay to present myself confidently.”
Step one: admitting to yourself that it's OKAY to test a new approach.
Step two: addition by subtraction. In most cases, you'll delete confidence undercutting words from your vocabulary.
This is simple, but not easy.
At first, you'll use the same timid words, only this time, you'll notice them.
Over time, you'll be able to use alternatives or (in most cases) stop using those qualifying words altogether.
Use this action step to help:
Myke is a really interesting guy, he was born in Asia, move to the Middle East, then landed in Canada at age 16 while not being able to speak English.
Myke had to start from scratch with people skills. The customs of places he'd lived his entire life were suddenly reversed in a western country.
If you've wanted to level up your social confidence, make better first impressions, or network authentically at a conference this episode will be exactly what you need.
More about Myke:
Myke Macapinlac was a shy immigrant who used to work a boring engineering job and became a talk show host, a social dynamics specialist, and a lifestyle entrepreneur.
He now teaches shy guys to develop social confidence so they can succeed in their personal, romantic, and professional lives.
His work has been featured in the Calgary Herald, on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV, and in the Huffington Post.
Myke's Free Gift For BMC Listeners:
In this (solo) episode of Become More Compelling Radio I'll give you frameworks for...
Show Notes & Links
You're probably familiar with Zack's work if you've ever watched shows like Burn Notice, Glee, and Empire. He's an editor by trade, so he knows all about grueling 12+ hour days sitting in front of a computer.
About 10 years ago, Zack decided that he would stop treating his body like a Ford Pinto, and start treating it like a Ferrari. This journey led him to spend over $75,000 and a decade optimizing his health so that he can constantly perform at a high level in his career and produce amazing work on demand.
Most of our jobs require us to be creative problem solvers. Zack will teach us how to protect our creativity like it's our number one asset.
Last night I was sitting on my couch watching Bob Ross on Youtube...like you do, and I stumbled across this video by Bob Ross' son Steve.
In this video, Ross gets super pumped about painting some mountains, and he messes up. (Side note: The mountains are still more beautiful that any mountains I've seen in real life.)
1:00 PM On a Sunday afternoon, my wife and I arrived at the library, ready to get some work done.
1:02 PM We take the elevator up to the 5th floor, where they have study rooms, periodicals, and the quiet room. The quiet room is designed so that people can work and study in peace.
1:03 PM We settle into the quiet room, we’re the only two people there.
1:03:30 PM Thinking that the room was soundproof, and also wanting to make my wife laugh…I devise a (to me) hilarious plan to play 5 seconds of gangster rap.
1:04 PM I press play. My wife quoted me as whispering “This is what I think of your quiet room.”
Shawn has been featured in Mind, Body, Green, LifeHack, and Dumb Little Man. He has over 10 years experience teaching personal and career development.
In this conversation we talk about the power of revealing your authentic self, how superhero costumes at Comic Con can improve your confidence, and we play a really awesome improv game that you can start using today to have better conversations.
Shawn also has a free gift for Become More Compelling readers: An Introvert’s Guide to Engaging Conversation.
She's currently writing a book on introvert charisma that's due out on bookshelves next year. She's published over 200 articles on her blog, and she's been featured in Dr. Arnie Kozak's book The Everything Guide to the Introvert Edge and Patricia Weber's Introvert Communication Toolkit.
Meaning and purpose? Check.
She also has an awesome free gift for Become More Compelling readers: Alone But Not Lonely: 7 Steps To True Connection For Introverts.
In this conversation, we talk about why the word "should" can be toxic, and what to replace "should" with. We also talk about everything from meditation practices to zombie outbreaks.
Without further ado, enjoy episode number one of Become More Compelling Radio:
Hey, I'm Jeff.
I'll help you supercharge your people skills so that you can have a more fulfilling career,
business & social life.
Over the last 14 years, I’ve learned... (Read More)
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• The Ultimate Guide To Joining & Enjoying Group Conversations
• How to Never Run Out of Things to Say