3 Signs It's Time To Hire A Social Skills Coach

Early in Kobe Bryant’s career, legendary coach Phil Jackson pulled him aside one day and encouraged him to spend more time with his teammates rather than in his hotel room studying game tape.

By 2009, Kobe was a leader on the court and in the locker room.  

The Lakers won a championship that season.

As a social skills coach, I love that lesson—that all of us (whether we like it or not)—are connected to and influenced by others.  

But let’s dig a little deeper...What Made Kobe Great?  

Talent? Check.  

A mind for the game? Check.  

Going to the gym at 4 AM? Check.

All those things matter, but every other elite NBA player did those things too.  

So what was Kobe’s secret weapon?  

He realized that he didn’t have to do it all on his own. He had his team and coaches there to support him.

 No one is a 10/10 in ALL areas of life—we all need help from our peers, our mentors, and our coaches.

What is a Social Skills Coach?

A social skills coach is someone who has a lot of knowledge and experience helping others communicate more effectively.  

A social skills coach can help people become more socially skilled in their career and personal life.

Social skills that a coach might help a client improve can be wide-ranging and include:

- Small talk and conversation skills  

- Active listening skills  

- Networking  

- Limiting social beliefs  

- Building relationships and deeper connections with others  

- Communicating complex ideas clearly  

- Making friends as an adult  

- Speaking up in meetings at work

- Rebounding from awkward moments

 - Body language and voice tone  

- Not overthinking social situations

What Does a Social Skills Coach Do?

A good social skills coach will help a client improve by:  

- Breaking down social situations step-by-step  

- Asking good questions  

- Giving perspective  

- Setting action steps and accountability  

They'll help you figure out what you want to get better at and make a plan for it.

They'll also check in with you and make sure you're on track to reach your goals.  

A social skills coach helps you improve by breaking down social situations, giving you new perspectives, setting actionable steps, and holding you accountable for progress.

"Asking For Help Is Hard!" Do I Really Need a Social Skills Coach? 

It can be HARD asking for help in areas where we feel like we should just “know” what to do.  

I bet you’d ask for help with:  

- A tough line of code  

- An error in an Excel formula  

- A presentation for the board  

But social skills coaching? Tips on how to tell a great story or make amazing first impressions?

It can feel scary to ask for help.  

The root of that fear is often feeling like you should already know how to do it.  

We all learn things at different points in our lives.  Hell, I JUST learned how to change a tire at age 31. (My man-card was FedEx’d to me the next day. It smells of leather and whiskey.)

When to Hire a Social Skills Coach

Think of me as the Phil Jackson to your Kobe Bryant and let’s look at some classic signs it’s time to consider private social skills coaching.

1. You’ve Done the Research, But the Results Just Aren’t There  

You’ve watched YouTube how-to videos, read blog articles, and revisited How to Win Friends and Influence People...for the 38th time. And it’s not working.  

If it were, you wouldn’t be reading this article.  

It’s so easy to get caught in an overthinking cycle.  

While information is great, more information isn’t always the answer—taking action is.  

Jeff Bezos famously said, “If you’re getting more than 70% of available information then you’re actually moving too slow.”

Check out this case study from my client Trudy:

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2. You’re Doing Well, But You Want More

This is another classic stage clients reach before they come to me.  Advancement almost always means management. And management means people.

Technical skills may have gotten you where you are, but social skills will get you where you want to be.  

Being able to make great first impressions, tell great stories, or just be socially confident will make a huge difference.

Technical skills may have got you where you are, but social skills will get you where you want to be.

​If you want to advance quickly in your career, being able to build relationships with your coworkers and bosses is crucial. Take a look at this haunting story I found on Reddit:

This person was demoted because their social skills weren't where they needed to be. Imagine working for years to get ahead in your career and then...poof! It's gone in an instant.

3. You’re Taking Action But It Just Doesn’t… Feel Right

Sometimes what we need most to diagnose a problem is an outside opinion.  

If you’ve been test-driving YouTube tips on social interaction, imagine how much faster the process would be with an unbiased third party giving real-time feedback.

This person was demoted because their social skills weren't where they needed to be. Imagine working for years to get ahead in your career and then...poof! It's gone in an instant.

If you're a top performer who wants to be successful in your career, being able to make great first impressions, tell great stories, or just be socially confident and likable will make a huge difference.

It’s like having a personal trainer at the gym correcting your form in real time. Having someone walk you through the process will always be faster and more helpful than trial and error alone.

Next Step: Apply For Social Skills Coaching!  

If you've been thinking about leveling up your social skills, and you'd like to learn more about my coaching services, click here.