I like the saying, “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.”
Not only is it catchy, but it relates to areas of life...ESPECIALLY to building social skills. (As a social skills coach, this is what I do all day every day!)
Right now starting conversations with others at a meetup or dinner party might make you want to run and hide in a corner and “check your email”.
For many of my social skills coaching clients, this is a common feeling.
And it boils down to a lack of social competence that leads to a lack of social confidence.
But the good news is that social skills can be learned!
And a social skills coach can help you get the results you want faster than trying to learn it on your own.
Oprah Winfrey, one of the most famous people in the world, has been very vocal about her early struggles with social interaction.
When asked about the steps she took to build her social skills (and ultimately her empire) she replied with, “Once you start to make changes, no matter how small, suddenly everything seems possible.”
This article will cover 7 ways that a social skills coach can help build that confidence and be prepared for a more successful social life.
1. A social skills coach will help you get clear on where you need to improve
Many of my clients reach out to me because they already have a rough idea of what parts of their lives they can improve.
They know that they need to start more conversations, have more small talk, and push their comfort zone.
As a social skills coach for adults, I'll help them zero in on what to work on and when. (Example: You don't need to work on building rapport if you're not starting any conversations.)
And for those clients who aren't as sure about what they need to do--no fear! We'll build a plan together...
2. A social skills coach will create a plan to help you succeed
You can't get to a destination without a map.
Social skills are pretty similar.
For each new client, I build a plan based on what their unique goals are, and what has worked well for past clients.
A clear plan allows both of us to know what is needed and can be used as a reference when checking on our progress.
Back to the “failing to prepare” quote, this plan is the preparation needed to build out the skills that need work.
3. A social skills coach will help you improve your social mindset
Negative self-thoughts are natural, but they get in the way when trying to improve your social confidence.
Social coaching will help you overcome things like your inner critic that tells you you’re not doing well.
Or we’ll reframe a mindset that is telling you to assume other people don’t like you. (Which prevents you from taking action)
I help people build their inner confidence, and it shows on the outside once we start working on their "tactical" social skills like making conversation, building rapport or telling captivating stories.
4. A social skills coach will keep you accountable
If you tried improving your social skills, been super fired up for 3 weeks, then fizzled out, you’re not alone!
One of the most important things a social communication coach can bring to the table is accountability.
If you know that I’m going to be checking up on you about your action steps, it makes it MUCH more likely that you will follow through this time.
Having a clear plan makes accountability easier too.
(Keep in mind that YOU still have to do the work, but I’m a big believer in action steps that gently push your comfort zone, instead of shatter it.)
5. A social skills coach will ask you the right questions
There are thousands of blogs and YouTube videos where you can find tactics to help you improve your social skills...
But here's the thing...
They can't ask you specific questions about YOUR situation.
A good social skill coach will ask a few well-placed questions that allow you to look inward for answers.
I could give you tactics all day, but if I encourage you to dig for an answer or a solution...you'll remember it forever. That's part of the "magic" of social skills coaching.
6. A social skills coach will help you identify and overcome blind spots
To use a sports metaphor: even league MVPs have parts of their games that they are just not good at. (Cough...Shaq's free throws...cough)
Even as you become a social skills MVP, there will be some situations that still make you feel very uncomfortable even if you’re otherwise pretty confident.
Realizing which situations still make you nervous is easy, but understanding why they make you nervous is much more difficult.
And coming up with how to better deal with those situations is crucial if you want to be the best you can be socially.
A social skills coach finds the reasons for these blind spots and helps you work through them by knowing the reasons they happen.
Blind spots can keep you from growing, and solving one situation now can solve ten in the future. Social coaches help you find these early.
Here is a case study with one of my clients, Alex, who has gotten more job interviews and is not letting his soft skills hold his career back anymore! (More coaching case studies available here)
7. A social skills coach will help take years off of your journey
I view myself as a human shortcut.
The “blind spot” mentioned above is a good example.
Clients who work with me (and put in the work on their own) often make advancements that could have taken them YEARS to get on their own.
This is what I love MOST as a coach.
The knowledge that my client is on a completely different trajectory because of our work together is my freaking JAM!
As a coach, my number one job is to help you move forward faster. And since I've worked with a lot of clients over the years...I can tell you what works well, and what you should avoid.
Is it time to hire a Social Skills Coach
If some of this rings true for you, it may be time to hire a social skills. Click here to learn more about my private coaching services or watch this video where I share more about coaching.
Not quite ready for social skills coaching yet?
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I'll start you off with my free 56-minute audio guide on joining and enjoying group conversations. (As well as Q&A videos, podcast, and much more!)
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I'll help you supercharge your people skills so that you can have a more fulfilling career,
business & social life.
Over the last 15 years, I’ve learned... (Read More)
• 5 Ways a Communication Coach Can Help You Become a Better Communicator
• The Ultimate Guide To Joining & Enjoying Group Conversations
• How to Never Run Out of Things to Say