This week I have an example of someone who's made MASSIVE improvements in their life, but still feels like the same unattractive guy on the inside...
It's interesting how someone can look great on the outside, but their "inner game" hasn't caught up to who they are on the outside. It's a common issue that can crop up as you improve yourself...I have a fix for that.
(Here's the cool thing...you can do this at any point in your self development journey)
Example: The ugly duckling who's actually a swan...
I'm 25 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or an intimate relationship of any kind (not even a kiss). Now, this is going to sound very suspect but... I believe that saying "the longer you wait, the harder it gets" is absolutely true, agree?
A lot of my friends have told me that I have "ugly duckling syndrome". When I was in high school, I was very overweight and unfit, did not have many friends and was bullied... a lot. A few years after high school though, I took up martial arts and self defense as a hobby and sport and ended up losing so much weight, getting very fit and completely changing how I look. It's a very surreal and kinda "wtf" feeling when people, even your own friends, start noticing you in a different light.
What's funny is back when I was younger (fat, unfit etc), if I told someone "I've never had a girlfriend" they would often respond "Yeah fair enough" or "I see", as if completely unsurprised. Nowadays if someone hears that I haven't had a girlfriend before, it's like blasphemy! They usually freak out.
I think my problem is... despite looking completely different, on the inside I am still the same fat, shy and insecure kid I was once. I have a lot of trouble talking to girls. Well... talking to girls (as a friend/individual) is easy, but talking to someone who I am attracted to and have feelings for, that's so hard! Especially when I try to express myself and tell them how I feel. I also often get "friend zoned"... the only girls who have expressed themselves toward me are usually girls I have zero attraction to (not just physical but personality as well) and they are usually extremely forward to the point of being creepy...
I guess bottom line... I see couples and happy people everywhere and I'm getting a bit tired of still being single.
I guess the thing is...have any advice on how to avoid being put in the friend zone? And secondly... what can I do to stop being so damn shy and start being more confident - to mentally become the person I have physically become?
Any help and advice would be appreciated
Then he improved himself, got in shape, lost weight, became more attractive on the outside, but on the inside, he still felt unattractive.
It's a really interesting issue, and it probably seems like a great problem to have at first glance.
Some people might say "Sure make me really attractive , and the rest will solve itself..."
But will it?
Ask yourself this simple question: In life, does any issue or problem EVER magically solve itself?
Not so much.
One of the first things that I tell my clients is that there is no "magic pill" to change their inner or outer attractiveness.
Change requires work.
The great news is that it's the most rewarding kind of work you can ever do for yourself.
It's the kind of work that will help you have a more fulfilling dating life, business life, and social life.
It will transfer to every area of your life. Now that's powerful.
The Next Step: Build Yourself Up
Napoleon Hill's seminal "Think And Grow Rich" is an excellent primer into the world of self-development. In Chapter 4 of T&GR Hill discusses the badass secret weapon of "Auto-suggestion: The medium for influencing the subconscious mind."
This is your secret weapon.
Because the truth is: you don't have to be physically attractive to be attractive to women.
If you feel attractive, you are attractive. (Click To Tweet)
Practical Auto-Suggestion: 42 Minutes To Change Your Outlook On Life Forever
As a practice, I do the following every day. This takes 3 minutes. You have the time to test this out:
Once a day as you're about to fall asleep, play your favorite song, and remember great things that you've done in your life up to this point. Remember them cinematically, like you're watching a movie. Feel the great vibes coarse through your veins.
Remember when you told a joke and everyone laughed...
Remember when you got that cute girl's number and she said "Call me!"...
Do this exercise every night for 2 weeks.
Each session should only take 3 minutes. 3 mins. x 14 days = 42 minutes.
If you tell me you don't have 42 minutes over a two week period, I will find and slap you. How many minutes have you spent checking if that girl you like has a boyfriend on Facebook?
Exactly. Get to it.
Want more info on stopping negative thoughts? Click here...
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